Euthanasia

My father was slowly dying whilst in hospital in 1991 and he was losing control of his body functions. He was dying! However, the hospital discharged him because they did not know how long it would take him to die. We went to the hospital to collect him on his day of discharge to realise that they had sent him home, by ambulance, early so we returned home. What did we find, the ambulance parked outside the house with my father dead inside. He had suffered a massive heart attack. Am I still angry? yes, am I crying as I write this? Yes.

My mother was in hospital and she was not dying but was not well. What happened, she slowly starved to death, over many agonising days. She could have survived but with constant care at home which was not available. Do I feel that I should have done more to 'save' her? Yes.

Will I let this happen to me, no! I will choose my time and place of dying. Call it suicide if you like but there is no way I will let 'them' treat me like my parents.

I already suffer from a deep feeling of what exactly is the point, what are we on this earth for, what have I achieved, who have I saved or helped. Nobody. So, I think that there are serious issues which I do not have the capacity to resolve. As I do not believe in God, or an afterlife, then this is just a terrible joke. How could we be so cruel.